Humor

Satire: Hooker Refuses To Take More Sex As Payment
This story has mostly positive ratings. 76 votes / 2 sinks

Satire: Hooker Refuses To Take More Sex As Payment

Humor – THE ONION RADIO NEWS with Doyle Redland reporting - After settling on a flat rate of $150, professional prostitute Chrissy DeMilo has refused Dennis Lambert's offer to pay for his seven minutes of sexual intercourse with more sex.

Tags: Most Thoughtful John, Winner, SATIRE, 2007

View Story Discuss (39) (theonion.com) 351 days ago by ind06

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Rating: +16 (+16/-0) | 2007-08-03 16:31:30
ind06
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I dunno, seems like a thoughtful gesture to me...

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Rating: +14 (+14/-0) | 2007-08-03 17:02:25
Uncle Dave
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I'll bet she gave him a thoughtful "gesture"1

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Rating: +9 (+9/-0) | 2007-08-03 17:03:50
ind06
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I've missed you UD :)

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Rating: +10 (+10/-0) | 2007-08-03 17:13:24
Uncle Dave
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Feelins' mutual "bubble head" (((((((ind06))))))))!

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Rating: +8 (+8/-0) | 2007-08-03 19:29:33
BronxBomber
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She doesn't listen to Bonnie Raitt albums??? Now I know she got problems!

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Rating: +8 (+8/-0) | 2007-08-03 19:30:07
BronxBomber
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She doesn't listen to Bonnie Raitt albums??? Now I know she got social problems!

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Rating: +8 (+8/-0) | 2007-08-03 19:43:27
dadesider
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BB, BB, I say BB....

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Rating: +9 (+9/-0) | 2007-08-03 20:26:39
BronxBomber
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So nice I had to say it twice.....damn these browsers

that don't refresh as fast as the hooker session here.....

=o|

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Rating: +9 (+9/-0) | 2007-08-03 20:29:15
dadesider
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Just like NY, a town so nice they had to name it twice...

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Rating: +4 (+4/-0) | 2007-08-04 00:47:25
ind06
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:)(((UD)))

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Rating: +5 (+5/-0) | 2007-08-04 00:37:47
HankiPanki
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i also didnt understand whats that lol

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Rating: +2 (+2/-0) | 2007-08-04 12:04:02
sumptuousdigs
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HankiPanki. .. When I get up off the floor, I'll try to explain it. LOL

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Rating: +1 (+1/-0) | 2007-08-06 02:47:31
Mr-opinion
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Now if we could only get my local gastation to work that way --- I'l pay them for my tank of gas by coming back tomorrow to take more gas of their hand - I mean they got to empty that tank somehow, don't they

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Rating: +13 (+13/-0) | 2007-08-03 16:38:21
Propeller Scout corey.spring
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Some women are so uptight.

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Rating: +12 (+12/-0) | 2007-08-03 16:46:17
natashas
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I encourage more hookers to except cash these days. A back rup and more sex is nice, but its not a relationship. Men should just pay up and move on. LOL!

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Rating: +11 (+11/-0) | 2007-08-03 17:04:13
Uncle Dave
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I really thought that she'd go for staying home and listening to Bonnie Raitt albumss!

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Rating: +11 (+11/-0) | 2007-08-03 17:16:23
kobzikov
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Agreed, the guy pulled out all the stops! You can't get that kind of treatment for $150.

Though I think introducing her to his parents might have clinched it for him. It's all about going that one extra step.

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Rating: +14 (+14/-0) | 2007-08-03 17:34:25
Uncle Dave
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Maybe he pulled out too soon!;)

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Rating: +9 (+9/-0) | 2007-08-03 20:24:00
BronxBomber
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& didn't spit much!

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Rating: +6 (+6/-0) | 2007-08-03 21:44:44
icono1
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Or maybe he didn't have 'enough stuff' left to finish or even start the deal.

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Rating: +4 (+4/-0) | 2007-08-04 11:49:51
2sidestoeverything
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natashas you got that right.

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Rating: +0 (+0/-0) | 2007-08-06 01:12:14
Shadowolf
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Natashas;

How about a compromise...Pay the FEE agreed upon in cash; give dinner and massage as a tip...

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Rating: +15 (+15/-0) | 2007-08-03 16:54:17
agunhter
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$150 for seven minutes? Got to be a CEO to make more then that these days.

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Rating: +10 (+10/-0) | 2007-08-03 18:04:34
humemacdonald
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Yeah that is what I was thinking too- darn that moral upbringing.

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Rating: +12 (+12/-0) | 2007-08-03 17:01:39
kobzikov
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Marx was right! Money corrupts everything.

What happened to doing it for the love of the game?

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Rating: +14 (+14/-0) | 2007-08-03 17:35:59
Uncle Dave
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What happened to the barter sustem?

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Rating: +7 (+7/-0) | 2007-08-03 21:41:59
icono1
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The money is the love of the game....... sounds like politics in a way....

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Rating: +10 (+10/-0) | 2007-08-03 17:51:47
itsme2
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I cant possibly imagine why not!

It is the same merchandise just going back and forth right?!?!

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Rating: +9 (+9/-0) | 2007-08-03 20:07:32
agunhter
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No its been used now.

Can't give back used food either.

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Rating: +9 (+9/-0) | 2007-08-03 19:10:17
dadesider
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What about my 401k???

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Rating: +10 (+10/-0) | 2007-08-03 19:13:35
Formidable
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There once was a man from Kent,

His unit so long that it bent,

To save himself trouble,

He put it in double,

Instead of coming, he went!

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Rating: +3 (+3/-0) | 2007-08-04 14:28:09
ind06
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ba dum-dum!

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Rating: +7 (+7/-0) | 2007-08-04 01:08:44
ETproductions
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Drat! That won't work? And I had just thought of it.

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Rating: +6 (+6/-0) | 2007-08-04 02:13:25
zplan
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What ever happened to haggling? She sets a price, he goes lower,etc. etc.

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Rating: +5 (+5/-0) | 2007-08-04 10:02:02
Macas
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Maybe she have better offers ... LOL

or maybe she change hers rate now ! ROFL

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Rating: +4 (+4/-0) | 2007-08-04 11:51:02
sumptuousdigs
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Better offers?

She offered her honor.

He honored her offer.

Then all night long,

it was honor and offer.

anonymous

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Rating: +1 (+1/-0) | 2007-08-06 01:16:02
Shadowolf
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A fussy old gay in Khartoum;

found a lesbian bunked in his room.

They argued for nights,

over who had the rights,

to do what and with which and to whom!!!

Good Bad Block Report
Rating: +1 (+1/-0) | 2007-08-06 02:48:02
Mr-opinion
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Man, and I had my companions comments go to my head, but I never thought I was THAAAAAT GOOOOOD

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Rating: +0 (+0/-0) | 2007-09-02 08:09:51
AlisD
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Good Bad Block Report

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