Nation Agrees Not To Talk About Politics

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Nation Agrees Not To Talk About Politics

Humor – WASHINGTON - After months of contentious political discourse, the U.S. populace unanimously agreed Monday that, before somebody gets upset and things get out of hand, it would be better to stop talking about politics altogether.

Tags: SATIRE, If Only, It Were So

View Story Discuss (36) (theonion.com) 92 days ago by ind06

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Rating: +16 (+16/-0) | 2008-04-18 04:39:36

ind06

The Nation also grudgingly agreed that it would finish its vegetables before it left the table.

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Rating: +14 (+14/-0) | 2008-04-18 05:37:39

Rinty

What a refreshing idea...Here goes nothing:

Hi everybody, I hope you all have a nice day...even the rightwing nut jobs.

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Rating: +14 (+14/-0) | 2008-04-18 11:08:24

2sidestoeverything

LMAO!

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Rating: +12 (+12/-0) | 2008-04-18 13:41:42

ind06

ROFL copter!

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Rating: +13 (+13/-0) | 2008-04-18 09:02:38

DIPPYEGGS

I also propose a motion that nobody can even talk to each other,unless it's about cute puppies and the like.

I mean who needs to get offended by anything when you can just go to propeller and pi$$ people that you don't even know.

PEACE

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Rating: +11 (+11/-0) | 2008-04-18 13:42:42

ind06

What a cute little doggie! So cuuuute!

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Rating: +8 (+8/-0) | 2008-04-18 20:56:49

Beau7890

Ugh! It's a schnauzer puppy! They're so petulant and picky, and so are their owners--they're just like little Fascists!

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Rating: +6 (+6/-0) | 2008-04-18 22:47:22

Uncle Dave

Benito Mussolini said his wife had the cutest little Schnauzer he'd ever seen, and when Hitler would come over for a visit, Hitler would sit by the fireplace and stroke that Schnauzer for hours.

This was on the History Channel.....so it's gotta be true...right?

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Rating: +4 (+4/-0) | 2008-04-19 01:18:34

ind06

Hitler stroked Senora Il Duce's schnauzer by the fire?

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Rating: +1 (+1/-0) | 2008-04-19 21:05:35

Uncle Dave

Would I pronk you!?

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Rating: +0 (+0/-0) | 2008-04-19 23:46:12

Rinty

Yes.

Thanks Pronk Dave,

Pronk

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Rating: +13 (+13/-0) | 2008-04-18 09:15:00

Uncle Dave

Hey! Who do you guys think will go to the World Series? The Demo..... Doh!

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Rating: +12 (+12/-0) | 2008-04-18 13:44:22

ind06

The series? The Clintons are looking strong.

What?

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Rating: +12 (+12/-0) | 2008-04-18 09:58:05

rdy2rck

Oh man, now everybodies going to switch over to religion and global warming.We gotta have something to bi--h about.LOL

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Rating: +11 (+11/-0) | 2008-04-18 13:48:43

ind06

We could agree to only talk about them on alternate Thursdays.

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Rating: +9 (+9/-0) | 2008-04-18 17:19:50

rdy2rck

Except maybe humorously?LOL

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Rating: +10 (+10/-0) | 2008-04-18 18:13:48

Uncle Dave

Hey! What's wrong with the OTHER Thursday!

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Rating: +9 (+9/-0) | 2008-04-18 19:15:06

ind06

That Thursday is reserved for angry discussions about religion.

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Rating: +7 (+7/-0) | 2008-04-18 21:42:13

rdy2rck

Oh my God that's bible study night.I guess it would be OK for righeous anger.:)

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Rating: +13 (+13/-0) | 2008-04-18 11:01:20

tehranchik

We'll have to go underground.

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Rating: +10 (+10/-0) | 2008-04-18 13:46:58

ind06

Where there is no politics.

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Rating: +8 (+8/-0) | 2008-04-18 17:08:30

Rinty

Ya, but that's where the trolls live.

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Rating: +7 (+7/-0) | 2008-04-18 19:15:27

ind06

Ah, troll politics...

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Rating: +5 (+5/-0) | 2008-04-18 21:43:19

rdy2rck

It would have to be trolls because the devil accepts all parties.

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Rating: +14 (+14/-0) | 2008-04-18 11:13:26

2sidestoeverything

They said we can't talk about it but writing isn't talking. :~] LOL!

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Rating: +15 (+15/-0) | 2008-04-18 13:47:24

ind06

How Justice Department of you! ;)

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Rating: +11 (+11/-0) | 2008-04-18 13:37:12

bluetexasvalley

Oh my god. Next they'll want to take away my chocolate, too!

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Rating: +12 (+12/-0) | 2008-04-18 13:46:03

ind06

Only the chocolate molded in the shape of Presidential contenders. Ooh, I see you've bitten McCain's head off! :D

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Rating: +9 (+9/-0) | 2008-04-18 18:41:51

icono1

Oh no!!!!!! I thought it was the Easter bunny's head!!!!!!

But that is ok.....

I have another one ...lets see hummmm........ It kinda looks like Hillary's head......oh no!!!!!... what a frightning idea,,,, A Bonnie Princess Billary Easter Wabbit.

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Rating: +9 (+9/-0) | 2008-04-18 14:37:09

itsme2

I can only hope this does not last long I will soo miss the crap spewing out of thier mouths!

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Rating: +10 (+10/-0) | 2008-04-18 14:42:30

simonsez

What do you suppose they talk about in Heaven?

I guess I may never know ...

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Rating: +8 (+8/-0) | 2008-04-18 19:17:31

ind06

Well, there can't be much discussion of the weather...

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Rating: +7 (+7/-0) | 2008-04-18 21:48:41

rdy2rck

Well, there may be weather talk. If it was a nice sunny day there might not be enough clouds to sit on for everybody especially if they don't hold an extra for me cause we al know what an angel I am(Should I laugh or gag>

better be safe, I'll do both.

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Rating: +4 (+4/-0) | 2008-04-19 01:09:28

ETproductions

Trouble is just about everything gets back to politics. It has to do with the derivation of the word.

Poli, from Poly to Greek polu-, from polus, much, many.

Tics, from Middle English teke, tik, perhaps from Old English *ticca. A small bloodsucking parasitic arachnid of the family Ixodidae.

When you break it all down, even the price of gas and who's juicing to win the home run record comes back to Poly-Ticks.

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Rating: +4 (+4/-0) | 2008-04-19 01:20:46

ind06

Way to throw out the wet blanket before the not talking about politics even gets not going. ;)

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Rating: +0 (+0/-0) | 2008-04-19 21:20:19

Uncle Dave

It's Agnew's fault.

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This story has mostly positive ratings. 115 votes / No sinks